Grieving within

It's been a very long hard weekend, to say the least. While I was occupied completely with work, I now do know whether the choices I maded to squeeze into watch two movies, was right or not.

After spending long hours at work, I decided to have a life for myself. I decided to watch World Trade Center from Oliver Stone. I've always felt that Stone deals very tuff subjects very well e.g. JFK, Wall Street, Nixon, Alexander among the many.

The movie is based on true story of 2 fire-fighters who while trying to rescue, get trapped under the rubble of WTC, after its collapse on September 11th, 2001.

May be it was a wrong choice to see such an heavy subject on such a tiring day. While I did know its going to be hard, the inexplicable tragedy always makes me think and stops me to not let myself away from it. Seeing the 2nd tower's crash, destruction and people jumping out of windows as paper flying in a wind - live on TV, as it happened is still in my memory as yesterday.

Suprisingly the movie wasn't full, as I had expected. Ten minutes into the movie, I was on the day, when it happened, while trying to follow the movie, I was recalling as how that day start of, for me, as events unfolded.

My friends phone-call woke me up, with the words that "we are at war, America is being attack, turn on the TV". The movie dealt the fear and the heorism of those fire-fighter's who while completely over-whelmed by what they were seeing in front of the eyes, decides to go to rescue, while not competely know the cause. It also highlights as how this nation was ( and still many believe is ) so inferior when it comes to emergency communication systems, in case of a crisis. Equally it deplores as how wrong information was passed on the grieving families about their loved ones' well being.

To think as a fire-fighter who sees people falling out of the tower as flies and to step-up to rescue the survivors, I just am unable to live that imagination. The movie shows a fraction of collapse of the towers as it deals as what happened inside the rubble. With tons and tons of concrete on top the trapper 3 surviving fire-fighters support each other and are hopeful that they're going to come out alive !

From that point on, the movie deals heavily with their thoughts, not knowing whether they can really bare the pain or not, while fire and more rubble threaten their life. With just their head-out and not even be able to turn it, they talk and support each other, while the building is falling down.

Their conversation of their loved ones and events in their lives as how they're unable to be part of it, just melts you. The immensense pain and suffering of the men and also their families and the fleeing survivors are just too much to handle, while its all the fact.

I came out with a very heavy heart, with so many thoughts about that day, where we've come today and how the world has changed and so polarized since then, terrorism, my believes, sympathies, terrorists, their view of their enemy, their lack of respect for their lives, their 'cause' of this innate war. While I try to stay out of this thought, I know that inside me, it bothers me a lot. Again and aglain and again, I put myself in those fighter's position, in those jumping out of the windows' position, in those grieving families position. Its just not being easy.

I'm left with one question, what drives human being to cause so much of pain to each other. Aren't we mature enough to realize that while life is a privilege that we were bestowed upon, we should try not to snatch it from others, with the reasons of greed and lust ?!

To all those lost ltheir ives on September 11th, 2001, recently in the series of Bombay blast's and those in the ever changing but equally ravaging world, may your soul rest in piece.